The Five Stages of Grief

The conversation this past Sunday actually went very well. The facilitator did an amazing job. I could go int the details about the conversation but I think I rather touch on emotions I saw happening during the conversation.

As I walk with people in through this process it is reminding me a lot of hospice care. The book, On Death and Dying by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross comes to my mind. During the discussion I saw almost all the stages of grief. In the book Kubler-Ross has five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.

The denial comes though with comments like, "we have a young couple that has attended the last few months, in fact their child was baptized today. We have to be doing something right if they want to do that."

Anger was mainly pointed at me with phrases like, "She didn't start the Sunday school back up this year - how do we grow with out a Sunday school?" or, "People started leaving the church after she started."

Bargaining was shown through the post cards with the ideas for ways to keep the congregation going. Suggestions like, "selling the building and becoming a congregation that meets at restaurants and coffee shops" tells me that people are just looking for anyway to stay together as a worshiping community.

Depression was shown through comments like, "what's the point?"

And, I know that there are a number of people that have accepted the process and the upcoming vote. They might feel some of the other "stages" from time to time, but over all, their is an understanding of how the congregation got to this point, they are okay with the decision - but it is a hard one to make and a sad decision to come to terms with.

The process is going well. The conversation this past Sunday went very well and I know the conversation on Nov. 20th will lead even more people to the acceptance phase. I am glad the council decided to slow down the process and allow time for people to come to an understanding and work through some of these feelings.