"Pray, and let God worry." - Martin Luther

 “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:6-7)

Lord, there has been too much stress recently, and I feel overwhelmed.

Because I try to be a responsible person,

I sometimes forget that it is unwise for me to allow my sense of duty to override my common sense.

Lord, help me to allow myself more time to rest, relax, and pray.

Guide me toward something spiritual to read every day and a quiet time afterwards to reflect on what I have read and how it pertains to my life.

I truly want to simplify my life and live more as Christ did.

Help me remember that there is no loss or problem that I must face alone.

You are always near, with Your love and compassion to comfort me.
 Amen

I found this prayer at catholicdoors.com

I normally find it part of my every day to pray. I don't necessarily have a routine

I use to, but after 3 kids a lot of routines go out the window. But even still, I do find time to stop and pray during the day. Recently, however, I am finding it hard to find the space to pray.I am too much in my head - too stressed. I know these are the exact times one needs prayer the most, but I am just finding it hard to find those moments. There is a lot going on not directly related to the closing process but is still on my plate as the pastor of the congregation.

Two weeks ago I was dealing with a mentally unstable person from the neighborhood breaking into the building at night and calling my parishioners at night. I eventually had to go to the police and file a trespassing report. That whole process lasted two weeks and it took a lot out of me.

This week I have a parishioner in the ICU near death. I have hospital visits and visits with his wife as they wait to see what happens - praying for a miracle but also preparing for his death. This too is usually emotionally draining under normal pastor circumstances, but especially so the week we vote to dissolve the congregation.

I am trying to keep myself separated from the process. I tell myself it's the congregations process and they need to do things the way that is most life giving to them. They need to deal with their grief and go through the death process on their own terms. I am dealing with this with the couple that is facing death. I can't make decisions for them. I can make suggestions, I can pray with them, I can comfort them, but I can't go through the process for them.


So, I try to separate myself from the death of this congregation. Yet, at this last meeting where we discussed the resolution I realized it is not possible. I had the last three weeks of worship outlined in my head. I didn't have the details, just the dates. The Celebration service was going to be Pentecost Sunday followed by a week where people would be encouraged to go to their new church homes but the church would be open for prayer and meditation. The third week was going to be the Taking of Leave service - and this is the date agreed with the Bishop.


At the meeting we had to have the Celebration service and Taking of Leave service dates placed in the resolution. It turns out that Pentecost falls on Memorial Day. The council decided that they did not want to have the celebration service on Memorial Day weekend and instead moved it up a week. I said that I did not agree, that the church day is too meaningful and has great meaning and symbolism for a Celebration service. But, in the end it is their process, and they chose to move the date. I felt slapped in the face. My heart sank. It was confirmation once again for me that we are moving in the right direction for the congregation. One of the high church days of the year was trumped by a secular holiday and a 3 day weekend. I gave them excuses. I said that they are nervous that people will not attend the celebration service. I don't know what the exact truth is. But, I do know that I got emotionally attached to having the celebration service on this day and I am hurt that the date got moved. It is their process, but I finally realized that this is my process too. I cannot separate myself from it.