Worship: First week of Advent, week after Thanksgiving, the week before the vote

Psalm 13

How long, O Lord? Will you forget me for ever?
   How long will you hide your face from me?
How long must I bear pain in my soul,
   and have sorrow in my heart all day long?
How long shall my enemy be exalted over me?
Consider and answer me, O Lord my God!
   Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep the sleep of death,
and my enemy will say, ‘I have prevailed’;
   my foes will rejoice because I am shaken.
But I trusted in your steadfast love;
   my heart shall rejoice in your salvation.
I will sing to the Lord,
   because he has dealt bountifully with me.


I had no idea what to expect today at worship. I did not know what kinds of emotions were going to be in the air this morning. I didn't know who was going to even come to church. It's a low attendance week anyway, the week after Thanksgiving.

Ten minutes before the service there were 3 people in the sanctuary. I had one person talk to me about the meeting. He asked how I am feeling, which was very nice. He also expressed how concerned he is that the congregation won't vote in favor of the resolution. I think he was looking to see if I have a plan or if I am nervous too. I kept it kind of simple, just also shared that I don't really have much planned for the weeks following if the resolution does not pass.I left the conversation to go robe.

When the organist began the prelude there were 10 people in the sanctuary. We have been worshiping about 27 a week recently.

As we did announcements and joys and concerns more people came and by the time we finished confession and forgiveness there were 19 people.

Announcements were odd. I decided to go with the fun events first, the Hanging of the Greens on Saturday and the Midweek Advent service. Then I announced that after the service we would be cleaning out the room with the mold because renovations start Tuesday. Finally I announced that there is a special congregational meeting after church next Sunday  to vote on dissolving the congregation.

The entire service had this ind of somber mode to it. I tried to be energetic with the prayers and readings and I could tell the organist was adding little touches here and there to lift up the feel.

Our sanctuary sits over 400 people. To stand in a pulpit and look out into a space that could sit 400 and see 19 people sprinkled about - it's hard. I know it's not just hard for me - it has to be hard for those worshiping too.

After worship I had a parishioner come up to me in tears. She was upset with me because she thinks my sermons have been too negative. She said that she can't hear anymore negative. That the congregation knows its situation and it's mean to just remind them week after week - especially now that it's Christmas.She said that she can't sit through my sermons anymore and that she plans to just start leaving the sanctuary when the sermon begins. Then, she walked away. I called her back and asked if we could talk about what she just said. I took her hands and looked in her eyes and I said that I know it's hard but that I also know that she is angry - she's angry at the situation and she is taking it out on me and using my sermons as the reason, and that it's okay - the feeling is okay, taking it out on me and my sermons is okay, but, she just can't confront me and walk away. I told her that  the texts today were all about lament and that I could not ignore not only the texts but also what I know a lot of people are feeling in the congregation. Through sobs she said, "I know - you're right. I just don't like this. It's hard." We talked more. I told her about my plans for worship after the vote, we talked about her feelings a bit more and I assured her that things will be better - but we have to get through the darkness to see the light.