I wanted to take a moment and write about just how wonderful my council president is.
The current Council president took the office just one month after I accepted the call, so we have really been through a lot together over the past 2 years. When I first started we actually had a lot of problems. I called them pissing contest. I was called to help the congregation trough a revitalization process and the new council president wanted to prove herself in the role (she had never been council president before and it was actually the first time that a woman was ever council president). It was also very hard for her to see some of the extreme unhealthiness in the congregation. She was too close to it.
We had a few pretty big blow-us my first few months. The first was over the church office and the Vice-presidents role in the office. He very much acted like the office manager even though we had a secretary and myself fully capable of running an office. It was a control thing and I pulled the control away and told the council that I am the secretary's supervisor and we can handle the office. Wow, huge fight happened. This was my first month. And, for the next few months it was the President and Vice-President against me, at many times it included the entire council and other times they would even bring in the person I refer to as the "Historical Patriarch" (no longer on council or any committees but nothing gets done with out his approval).
So, there were fights about the office, a new church sign we had put up on the busy intersection near the church, a newspaper article, Christmas Service, my pregnancy... You name it, we fought about it. Then I had the baby and went on maternity leave. I was gone for eight weeks and there was an interim pastor there for the eight weeks. The one wonderful thing the interim did during her time at my congregation was she did a great job mending the relationship between me and the council president.
About a month before I left for leave my council president and I had a heart-to-heart, or a come to Jesus, conversation. We kind of yelled it out and it ended up where she really opened up to me and I began to trust her a little more. But, then I was gone for two months. The interim pastor really built on that budding relationship and she was a wonderful pastor for the Council President during my time away.
When I returned our relationship was completely different. She was very supportive and I no longer felt like I needed to defend myself over every little decision, which really made me bring my guard down a little and made me a much "warmer" pastor.
This was amazing. She was able to step away from the unhealthiness and see how hard it is to help a congregation change if they do not want to be changed.
I could tell that she was having a real tug of war with herself. She loved the people and she loved her church, and she should, but she was starting to wipe the film away from the window and see the truth that was beyond all the film. She saw a dying congregation.
She went through many emotions when she realized this, and I walked with her through much of it because really, at this point, no one else in the congregation was there yet (besides my Turn Around Team).
Since August, when the Turn Around Team started the conversation about closing or redevelopment, my Council President has been an amazing leader. I am so proud of her and it amazes me how far she came as a lay leader from our first major power struggles right when I start to now where I would consider her a friend in many ways.
She has been compassionate, a leader, a spiritual leader, a decision maker... She has been strong and at the same time vulnerable, she has even nicely started to let me know when I am acting out of anger or emotion. She is my advocate to the congregation now. She sees that I am getting an unfair amount of blame and she if often helping people redirect their anger. She is dealing with the building, the realtor, people in the synod, and people from other congregations that are looking to reach out. She leads meetings well, listening to all sides but refusing to let the meeting get out of control and she stands up to people that try to bully. And, she has a full time job on top of it.
For example, today alone, we sent email back and forth that ranged from a conversation about a parishioner upset over a Holy Things request (this will be a post later in the week) and she will call this parishioner later tonight, hiring a new custodian, the revised budget that was voted by the congregation on Sunday, she set up a meeting with a painter to get a quote, and she talked to me about her birthday party - and she was at work all day.
When I think over my time with this congregation there is a lot of hurt, a bit of anger, and many un-worked through feelings that run through me. However, when I think about my Council President I can see God working through her, me and the entrie congregation. When I start to get mad over something happening (like this recent Holy Things request - trust me, you want to read this story) or when I start to question my call to parish ministry, or when I wonder if I really did anything positive at the congregation over the past 2 years other than just close an unhealthy congregation, I just try to focus on how much my council president changed over the last two years, how much or relationship changed, how much we learned from each other, and this is when I stop my pity party and I am reminded of how God is at work in the process.
My Council President, a person that 2 years ago was more concerned about things being done because it's the way the congregation does them, is now the person at a meeting passionately speaking about God's plan and keeping everything mission focused. Wow, what a transformation.
If you read this blog and you are praying for my congregation or for me, please, today, say a special prayer for the Council President.
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